UAW Motors Acquires Majority Stake in Citigroup in Stock Swap
The Associated Press
Annonymous
Issue date: 5/14/09 Section: Humor
DETROIT (AP) - In an address today to the United Auto Workers union, President Barack Obama announced the swap of the US government's 80% equity stake in Citigroup for a 10% equity position in the employee-owned UAW Motors LLC, formerly FiatGMChrysler LLC. Leading experts say that the exchange should improve UAW Motor's ability to negotiate favorable loan terms. President Obama declared a moral victory for working Americans. In an address interrupted by frequent standing ovations, Obama stated that "too long have the money men controlled our property and financial capital. The means of production belongs to the American worker as it was originally intended by the Founders." Big Labor/Auto was congratulatory of President Obama's comments.
Questioned on the logic of why the US government continues to prop up both Big Labor/Auto and the banking industry while compelling TARP banks to incur heavy losses by giving up secured claims on auto firms that default, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated, "We are just cleaning up the mess of the previous administration." Citigroup's new ownership structure should foster even closer ties between the auto and banking industries. Management of UAW Motors expects the tie-up to help the firm achieve profitability by the third quarter of 2014.
It has been a trying time for the US auto industry. After emerging from Chapter 11 bankruptcy in April for the 3rd time in two years, UAW Motors has enticed few consumers despite wide public support for a strong national car industry. Even after an extensive "Made in the USA" campaign sponsored by the Big 2 Labor/Auto firms, Americans are apparently still put off by lackluster quality. UAW Motors placed last in J.D. Power and Associates' 2011 automobile survey on customer satisfaction.
Over the last 3 years, the US Treasury has lost a staggering 90% of the $60 billion poured into UAW Motors, keeping the firm afloat multiple times and helping it to reduce its $100 billion underfunding of worker retirement benefits. "The American public will pay for our cars whether they want to or not," UAW Motors CEO Ron Gettelfinger was recently heard joking.
Questioned on the logic of why the US government continues to prop up both Big Labor/Auto and the banking industry while compelling TARP banks to incur heavy losses by giving up secured claims on auto firms that default, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated, "We are just cleaning up the mess of the previous administration." Citigroup's new ownership structure should foster even closer ties between the auto and banking industries. Management of UAW Motors expects the tie-up to help the firm achieve profitability by the third quarter of 2014.
It has been a trying time for the US auto industry. After emerging from Chapter 11 bankruptcy in April for the 3rd time in two years, UAW Motors has enticed few consumers despite wide public support for a strong national car industry. Even after an extensive "Made in the USA" campaign sponsored by the Big 2 Labor/Auto firms, Americans are apparently still put off by lackluster quality. UAW Motors placed last in J.D. Power and Associates' 2011 automobile survey on customer satisfaction.
Over the last 3 years, the US Treasury has lost a staggering 90% of the $60 billion poured into UAW Motors, keeping the firm afloat multiple times and helping it to reduce its $100 billion underfunding of worker retirement benefits. "The American public will pay for our cars whether they want to or not," UAW Motors CEO Ron Gettelfinger was recently heard joking.
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