UAW Motors Acquires Majority Stake in Citigroup in Stock Swap
The Associated Press
Annonymous
Issue date: 5/14/09 Section: Humor
Complicating matters further, Greenpeace advocates stricter gas mileage restrictions on automobiles, placing it in direct opposition to congressional supporters of UAW Motors who say the existing restrictions contributed to its recent bankruptcy, which cost tax payers billions of dollars and contributed to a record $3 trillion budget deficit. In response, Congress this week pushed the top federal income tax rate to 70% (90% for investment bankers and hedge fund managers), a level not seen since the Carter administration. Luckily for sitting members of Congress, voter approval won't be negatively impacted since 75% of voters pay only 3% of all federal income taxes, down from 14% in 2006.
Steadied by the President's frequent affirmations that UAW Motors has a "strong chance of success," the American public has shown amazing patience with the firm despite its multiple bankruptcies. Each time the secured creditors, many of whom are pension funds of other unionized industrial firms, were vilified and coerced into making concessions through intimidation by President Obama despite the certainty of a higher payout in liquidation, fiduciary duty to clients not to give their money away, and the backing of a hundred years of legal precedent. After steep concessions, the average UAW worker now receives only $105,000 per year in salary and benefits, which is down from $114,400 in 2008. In comparison, recently hired top MBA graduates earn about $115,000 per year but work 1.5 times more on average. Questioned on whether UAW compensation was fair considering the low education and skill requirements, a UAW spokesperson countered by saying auto workers get paid less than a typical Fortune 500 CEO.
Fending off pointed criticism questioning whether his policies and strong-arm tactics were subverting the rule of law, defiling property rights, institutionalizing stagflation, raising tax rates to unsustainable levels, and ultimately burdening future generations of Americans with crushing debt, President Obama remarked that he is "change you can believe in."
Steadied by the President's frequent affirmations that UAW Motors has a "strong chance of success," the American public has shown amazing patience with the firm despite its multiple bankruptcies. Each time the secured creditors, many of whom are pension funds of other unionized industrial firms, were vilified and coerced into making concessions through intimidation by President Obama despite the certainty of a higher payout in liquidation, fiduciary duty to clients not to give their money away, and the backing of a hundred years of legal precedent. After steep concessions, the average UAW worker now receives only $105,000 per year in salary and benefits, which is down from $114,400 in 2008. In comparison, recently hired top MBA graduates earn about $115,000 per year but work 1.5 times more on average. Questioned on whether UAW compensation was fair considering the low education and skill requirements, a UAW spokesperson countered by saying auto workers get paid less than a typical Fortune 500 CEO.
Fending off pointed criticism questioning whether his policies and strong-arm tactics were subverting the rule of law, defiling property rights, institutionalizing stagflation, raising tax rates to unsustainable levels, and ultimately burdening future generations of Americans with crushing debt, President Obama remarked that he is "change you can believe in."
Be the first to comment on this story