Some GSBS
I Wake Up in the Morning and Piss Excellence
by Nate Schaefer, '07
Issue date: 4/19/07 Section: Humor
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That about sums up what my column brings to the table. I just wanted to appropriately manage expectations for any admitted students who accidentally stumbled onto my column lookin' for something more of the intellectual variety.
Listen youngbloods, if you are looking for a synopsis of a Random Walk trip, or if you are trying to read about how b-school is NOT an amazing two-year vacation, try reading the other 40-pages in this week's grande ChiBus.
Put more simply, my column is for people who giggle when their Regression teacher talks about "semi-logs" and "homoscedasticity."
We are simple folk here.
Hey admitties, want to know what us grad students think about Admit Weekend? Don't cha'? Well, it's pretty simple: it's the Spring Meat Market. If you think about it, it's really only fair; you guys get a preview of the school and in return we get a preview of who is joining the cast next season on our little TV drama known as Hyde Park High.
Hell, last year at Admit Weekend there was nearly a catfight in the Winter Garden over Dave Lubnik (back when he was fresh faced and innocent). A few of my girls went so far as to attempt to subsidize his Random Walk costs as a way of convincing young Dave to sign up for their b-school honeymoon.
So Nate, why aren't you puttin' these girls on blast like you do everyone else in the school? It's pretty simple: I value my life too much. If I named the second-year chicks on Dave's jock, they would surely turn this casanova into a castrata.
In summation: ask Lubnik.
So who was the Best in Show among the female admitties last year? It might shock you, but I never got her name. All my boys kept talking about some tall skinny married chick but she has yet to introduce herself to me. Female stranger, if you are still out there, bark at the Dogg one of these days.
Call me old fashioned, or un-Braz-like, but when I see a "Mrs" in the Community Directory, I usually cross her name off my to-do list.
So who are the admitties y'all should keep an eye out for this weekend? Let me put at least one on your radar screen. He may not be the smartest or best-looking Nate to grace the HPC, but my man Nate Fowler is going to leave a dent on this place the next two years while I am back in the real world. As his mentor, I can say with 100% certainty that Fowl-dogg lives and breathes the hitter way.
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