BUS 41050: Topics in Digression….
Da Macanudo Code
Jon Macanudo, '06
Issue date: 5/25/06 Section: Humor
I think, like, I've mentioned this before, but I've got a theory that Asian girls must be good in bed - there ain't a billion people in China because the dudes are hung like horses.
I can't even imagine having daughters. Considering that I've had impure thoughts about Jasmine, Ariel and Cinderella, I'm either going to be the most liberal or most conservative father ever. Whichever one means that I still bang strippers.
Of the fun idiosyncrasies separating men and women, I think this one best sums up the difference between the genders - women have an internal chip that tells them when to buy more toilet paper. Meanwhile, men don't know until they're wiping with old Wall Street Journals. I think, essentially, this is the same as the difference between America and 3rd world countries like Cambodia, Iran or India.
I've dined at the finest restaurants in Europe, I've eaten at the best steakhouses in America and I'm a Philly cheesesteak connoisseur. All that said, the cheesy chicken mashed potato bowl from KFC may be the greatest meal ever invented. When stoned.
"The Natural", unquestionably, has the greatest ending of any movie, ever. I mean, the guy's paying for a 15 year old mistake, bleeding thru his uniform, his team's trailing by two runs with two on and two outs; on one swing he ruptures his injury and breaks his magical bat, then the pudgy little bat boy gives him the bat that he carved out of a tree and on the next swing Roy Hobbs hits a home run, breaks the lights and ignites a veritable fireworks display. Since I can't think of a joke here, I'll awkwardly force mention of some staple themes that wouldn't have otherwise made this final article of the year. I watched a porn starring Tara Reid last night with the Hot Cafeteria Chick.
I was kickin' it on my couch, watching a commercial for Nestle Crunch and the voiceover guy said, "nothing brings out the kid in you like the scrumptious combination of milk chocolate and airy crispies." I've gotta admit, he has a pretty good point.
Just so everyone who missed Spring Fling knows, I had the best 1980s themed costume there. I went as "the Challenger astronaut who missed his flight due to traffic."
I have recently decided - with not much angst at all, really - to transfer to Kellogg so that I can join the women's soccer team and get involved in all the freaky deaky hazing sex. It sounds like my own personal nirvana. I mean, seriously, any place where hot girl-on-girl action is part of the social rules, positively reinforced by tight, nubile little 18 year olds and all I hafta do to get in on that is fully embrace my cross-dressing habit is alright by me.
But I digress…..
I can't even imagine having daughters. Considering that I've had impure thoughts about Jasmine, Ariel and Cinderella, I'm either going to be the most liberal or most conservative father ever. Whichever one means that I still bang strippers.
Of the fun idiosyncrasies separating men and women, I think this one best sums up the difference between the genders - women have an internal chip that tells them when to buy more toilet paper. Meanwhile, men don't know until they're wiping with old Wall Street Journals. I think, essentially, this is the same as the difference between America and 3rd world countries like Cambodia, Iran or India.
I've dined at the finest restaurants in Europe, I've eaten at the best steakhouses in America and I'm a Philly cheesesteak connoisseur. All that said, the cheesy chicken mashed potato bowl from KFC may be the greatest meal ever invented. When stoned.
"The Natural", unquestionably, has the greatest ending of any movie, ever. I mean, the guy's paying for a 15 year old mistake, bleeding thru his uniform, his team's trailing by two runs with two on and two outs; on one swing he ruptures his injury and breaks his magical bat, then the pudgy little bat boy gives him the bat that he carved out of a tree and on the next swing Roy Hobbs hits a home run, breaks the lights and ignites a veritable fireworks display. Since I can't think of a joke here, I'll awkwardly force mention of some staple themes that wouldn't have otherwise made this final article of the year. I watched a porn starring Tara Reid last night with the Hot Cafeteria Chick.
I was kickin' it on my couch, watching a commercial for Nestle Crunch and the voiceover guy said, "nothing brings out the kid in you like the scrumptious combination of milk chocolate and airy crispies." I've gotta admit, he has a pretty good point.
Just so everyone who missed Spring Fling knows, I had the best 1980s themed costume there. I went as "the Challenger astronaut who missed his flight due to traffic."
I have recently decided - with not much angst at all, really - to transfer to Kellogg so that I can join the women's soccer team and get involved in all the freaky deaky hazing sex. It sounds like my own personal nirvana. I mean, seriously, any place where hot girl-on-girl action is part of the social rules, positively reinforced by tight, nubile little 18 year olds and all I hafta do to get in on that is fully embrace my cross-dressing habit is alright by me.
But I digress…..
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