Big Ten, Here We Come
UC Move Spurred by Illini Envy
Praveen Mellacheruvu
Issue date: 4/1/05 Section: GSB Life
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There are rumors that Neil Bansal from Gary, IN has been chosen as the primary running back. Mr. Bansal has successfully managed to obtain a slew of leadership positions and he has successfully managed to dodge the responsibilities that come with these positions. Hence athletic officials feel that he would be a great fit at this position as a finesse runner and be successful at avoiding defensive linemen and the secondary. Peter Lee from Dairytown, WI is quite optimistic about his chances of being quarterback again. The former Yale quarterback who has demolished top quality defenses like Harvard and Cornell looks forward to meeting meek Midwestern teams like Ohio State and Purdue.
While there has been an encouraging response from the Americans, there has been a lot of concern from foreign students. Andrew Sharpe from fizzle-down-under, Australia was disappointed to learn that rugby was not an NCAA sport. Karthee Madasamy from Hippieville, CA was particularly incensed that cricket was not part of the NCAA and said that the University should lobby the Big Ten conference to have a conference championship for cricket. His exact comments were "Those Godd---ed foreign devils! How can they exclude cricket? Oh, wait a minute. I am the foreign devil here. D'Oh!"
Further solidifying this decision is the University's move to get back the "C" logo they had loaned to the Chicago Bears. This left the Bears scrambling to find a replacement for the logo. The rumor is that the ChiBus staff has been asked to help in this effort. The contract for this search is supposed to run into millions of dollars along the lines of the money paid by Pricewaterhouse for the name of their former consulting arm 'Monday.'
While there has been an encouraging response from the Americans, there has been a lot of concern from foreign students. Andrew Sharpe from fizzle-down-under, Australia was disappointed to learn that rugby was not an NCAA sport. Karthee Madasamy from Hippieville, CA was particularly incensed that cricket was not part of the NCAA and said that the University should lobby the Big Ten conference to have a conference championship for cricket. His exact comments were "Those Godd---ed foreign devils! How can they exclude cricket? Oh, wait a minute. I am the foreign devil here. D'Oh!"
Further solidifying this decision is the University's move to get back the "C" logo they had loaned to the Chicago Bears. This left the Bears scrambling to find a replacement for the logo. The rumor is that the ChiBus staff has been asked to help in this effort. The contract for this search is supposed to run into millions of dollars along the lines of the money paid by Pricewaterhouse for the name of their former consulting arm 'Monday.'