No Hard Feelings
The 'Write the Right Words' Rite: Part three
Sandeep Hoshing
Issue date: 1/20/05 Section: Humor
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This is the third and final essay written to assist GSB applicants in the essay-writing process. As usual, others are welcome to waste their time in reading this.)
All right Round 3 applicants - It's time to hit the computer keyboards and start typing away to glory, fame and fortune. As usual I am around to guide you through this maze. Today I am taking up a very interesting essay from this year's application. As usual I have customized the essay to a new profile of applicants- Bankers itching to get into the shoes of consultants. If this killer essay doesn't work, nothing will.....
If you could step into any celebrity's shoes for a day, who would it be and why?
I have never been more frustrated in my life. There's only one solution- I simply have to get into Eliot Spitzer's shoes for a day because I desperately need to have sex.
What has sex got to do with this? Unfortunately I got married on the same day as Eliot Spitzer passed the infamous ruling saying that bankers should not interact with research analysts because of conflict of interest. Allow me to elaborate.
Unfortunately I happen to be a banker at a leading Wall Street firm and my wife happens to work as a research analyst in the same firm. Ever since the day Spitzer passed that ruling, my wife has stopped me from getting anywhere close to her-"Sorry honey, but rules are rules, Spitzer says no interaction. Please understand ... no hard feelings" Well yeah- No 'hard' feelings- that just about describes my sex life at the moment. My wife has even put up a sign in our bedroom saying "Occupancy by more than 1 person is dangerous and unlawful".
I have become the laughing stock of my friends and the center of all office jokes. Statements like "Hey buddy, have you been to the hardware store recently? There is a good chance you'll get a screw there" have become quite common. My life is in such a sorry state, I envy even those Chibus articles in your newspaper. Why? Let me explain. I was reading some stuff on the Chibus web-site the other day when voila! All of a sudden, the Chibus articles started talking to each other (However freaky as this may sound, it actually happened). So what did one Chibus article say to the other? Answer- "So what if nobody reads us, at least we get laid by the Layout Editor". S**t!! I am actually worse off than those f****** words on a piece of paper.
All right Round 3 applicants - It's time to hit the computer keyboards and start typing away to glory, fame and fortune. As usual I am around to guide you through this maze. Today I am taking up a very interesting essay from this year's application. As usual I have customized the essay to a new profile of applicants- Bankers itching to get into the shoes of consultants. If this killer essay doesn't work, nothing will.....
If you could step into any celebrity's shoes for a day, who would it be and why?
I have never been more frustrated in my life. There's only one solution- I simply have to get into Eliot Spitzer's shoes for a day because I desperately need to have sex.
What has sex got to do with this? Unfortunately I got married on the same day as Eliot Spitzer passed the infamous ruling saying that bankers should not interact with research analysts because of conflict of interest. Allow me to elaborate.
Unfortunately I happen to be a banker at a leading Wall Street firm and my wife happens to work as a research analyst in the same firm. Ever since the day Spitzer passed that ruling, my wife has stopped me from getting anywhere close to her-"Sorry honey, but rules are rules, Spitzer says no interaction. Please understand ... no hard feelings" Well yeah- No 'hard' feelings- that just about describes my sex life at the moment. My wife has even put up a sign in our bedroom saying "Occupancy by more than 1 person is dangerous and unlawful".
I have become the laughing stock of my friends and the center of all office jokes. Statements like "Hey buddy, have you been to the hardware store recently? There is a good chance you'll get a screw there" have become quite common. My life is in such a sorry state, I envy even those Chibus articles in your newspaper. Why? Let me explain. I was reading some stuff on the Chibus web-site the other day when voila! All of a sudden, the Chibus articles started talking to each other (However freaky as this may sound, it actually happened). So what did one Chibus article say to the other? Answer- "So what if nobody reads us, at least we get laid by the Layout Editor". S**t!! I am actually worse off than those f****** words on a piece of paper.