GSB Rocked by Allegations of Accounting Irregularities
Construction of New Campus Put on Hold -- Community Outraged
Albert Muaddi
Issue date: 4/1/04 Section: GSB News
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Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior source within the University Budget Office has leaked to ChiBus details of an investigation of accounting irregularities in GSB financial statements dating to as far back as 1997. The allegations being leveled against the GSB include falsified expenditures and illegal funneling of revenues through an elaborate system of offshore bank accounts and front businesses. As of Monday evening, it is not known if those suspected are students, staff, or faculty members.
Although no formal charges have been issued, a buzz of activity has been sighted in and around Hyde Park in recent days. On Sunday morning, the University ordered a halt to construction on the new GSB campus. Construction crews arriving for work that morning were told to vacate the premises by Hyde Park police, who then proceeded to confiscate their tools, thermoses, and lunchboxes. After eating their sandwiches, police sealed off the construction site and erected an observation post. "Yeah, we heard they may turn this place into a Wal-Mart," said one officer.
On Sunday evening, a team of investigators accompanied by police hauled away 3 file cabinets, a vending machine, 2 cash registers, and a solar-powered calculator from Edelstone Center. There was 1 reported arrest when Saul Savage staged an impromptu sit-in by handcuffing himself to the CRC copy machine. He was later released after posting a $100 bond, which finance professor Antonio Sabato Marsianno insists was overvalued.
On Monday morning, investigators intercepted 12 pizzas from a Pizza Kapri delivery boy in Stuart Hall. "The culprits could be using pizza toppings as a way of secretly communicating with their outside handlers. We must take all necessary precautions," said one investigator while munching on a slice of pineapple ham. When contacted for comments, the enraged owner of Pizza Kapri lamented, "I've delivered over 94,717 pizzas to the GSB and never once had a problem!"
GSB students reacted to the allegations with shock and dismay. "This would have never happened in Switzerland," said Olivier Benz, "We have rules and order there." ChiBus Editor-in-Chief Mick RosenRosen angrily remarked, "Corporate governance my foot! The Machine is corrupt, and if there's one thing the Mick doesn't like, it's corruption, and also protectionism and watered-down beer."
Although no formal charges have been issued, a buzz of activity has been sighted in and around Hyde Park in recent days. On Sunday morning, the University ordered a halt to construction on the new GSB campus. Construction crews arriving for work that morning were told to vacate the premises by Hyde Park police, who then proceeded to confiscate their tools, thermoses, and lunchboxes. After eating their sandwiches, police sealed off the construction site and erected an observation post. "Yeah, we heard they may turn this place into a Wal-Mart," said one officer.
On Sunday evening, a team of investigators accompanied by police hauled away 3 file cabinets, a vending machine, 2 cash registers, and a solar-powered calculator from Edelstone Center. There was 1 reported arrest when Saul Savage staged an impromptu sit-in by handcuffing himself to the CRC copy machine. He was later released after posting a $100 bond, which finance professor Antonio Sabato Marsianno insists was overvalued.
On Monday morning, investigators intercepted 12 pizzas from a Pizza Kapri delivery boy in Stuart Hall. "The culprits could be using pizza toppings as a way of secretly communicating with their outside handlers. We must take all necessary precautions," said one investigator while munching on a slice of pineapple ham. When contacted for comments, the enraged owner of Pizza Kapri lamented, "I've delivered over 94,717 pizzas to the GSB and never once had a problem!"
GSB students reacted to the allegations with shock and dismay. "This would have never happened in Switzerland," said Olivier Benz, "We have rules and order there." ChiBus Editor-in-Chief Mick RosenRosen angrily remarked, "Corporate governance my foot! The Machine is corrupt, and if there's one thing the Mick doesn't like, it's corruption, and also protectionism and watered-down beer."