Don Martin's True Plans Revealed
Albert Muaddi
Issue date: 4/1/04 Section: GSB News
Recently, students were heartbroken to learn of the imminent departure of Dean of Admissions Don Martin, a GSB legend whose congratulatory telephone calls touched many lives. "Hello! This is Don Martin of the GSB! Congratulations," Don would say to thousands of ecstatic admits over the course of his illustrious career.
While on their spring break, students were informed that Don is leaving the GSB to join Columbia Teachers College in New York. Almost immediately, rumors began to circulate throughout the ChiBus office. Intoxicated staffers wondered aloud, "Why is he really leaving?" Is he going to enter the 2004 Presidential Race? Did ABC sign him to host The Don Martin Show? Is he auditioning for American Idol? Being a perennial Follies showstopper, is he headed to Hollywood or Broadway? Indeed, inquiring minds wanted to know. Just what does the future hold for the man who gave many a cause for celebration?
On the heels of an anonymous tip, ChiBus has learned that Don is actually leaving to launch a new business venture, Don Martin Champagnes, L.L.C., a maker and distributor of ultra-premium champagnes. A copy of the venture's business plan, obtained from a company insider, suggests that Don first got this idea while touring the Chateau de Saran in the Champagne province of la France (and you thought he was flying all over the world only to give information sessions). While on that very trip, Don purchased a 700-acre vineyard, which he immediately fenced off to potential trespassers. A bottling plant was constructed in late 2003, and the firm is set to begin production in the coming months.
According to the business plan, Don Martin Champagne L.L.C. will initially launch 3 labels. With an expected retail price of $899.95, Congratulations! - by Don Martin, will be the company's high-end champagne. Only 2,500 bottles will be sold internationally, each with Don's signature and a certificate of authentication. To allocate supply, Don will have potential buyers of Congratulations! - by Don Martin fill out an application, answer 5 essay questions, and submit 3 references. An interview is strongly recommended. The firm's additional labels are Bold Admissions ($299.95) and Don Martin Members Only ($79.95). As a special promotion, buyers will receive a champagne glass and an instructional video on how to properly chill champagne. They will also receive a DVD of Don's cameo appearances in several Golden Gargoyle winning films. "This is going to be a hit," said one North American retailer. "We expect these to fly off the shelves. This guy has lots of celebrity potential."
GSB students and Hyde Park residents had mixed reactions. "I'm sad to see him go, but I'm happy he's found something more enjoyable. And at least he's not going to another business school," commented Peter Vetrop. "He could use the next TNDC to launch his product," added TNDC co-chair Saul Gollache. "It seems a bit pricey, but sure, we'll carry it," said the manager of Ida Noyes Pub.
Nevertheless, the ChiBus staff wishes the Don the best and thanks him for his dedication to the GSB.
While on their spring break, students were informed that Don is leaving the GSB to join Columbia Teachers College in New York. Almost immediately, rumors began to circulate throughout the ChiBus office. Intoxicated staffers wondered aloud, "Why is he really leaving?" Is he going to enter the 2004 Presidential Race? Did ABC sign him to host The Don Martin Show? Is he auditioning for American Idol? Being a perennial Follies showstopper, is he headed to Hollywood or Broadway? Indeed, inquiring minds wanted to know. Just what does the future hold for the man who gave many a cause for celebration?
On the heels of an anonymous tip, ChiBus has learned that Don is actually leaving to launch a new business venture, Don Martin Champagnes, L.L.C., a maker and distributor of ultra-premium champagnes. A copy of the venture's business plan, obtained from a company insider, suggests that Don first got this idea while touring the Chateau de Saran in the Champagne province of la France (and you thought he was flying all over the world only to give information sessions). While on that very trip, Don purchased a 700-acre vineyard, which he immediately fenced off to potential trespassers. A bottling plant was constructed in late 2003, and the firm is set to begin production in the coming months.
According to the business plan, Don Martin Champagne L.L.C. will initially launch 3 labels. With an expected retail price of $899.95, Congratulations! - by Don Martin, will be the company's high-end champagne. Only 2,500 bottles will be sold internationally, each with Don's signature and a certificate of authentication. To allocate supply, Don will have potential buyers of Congratulations! - by Don Martin fill out an application, answer 5 essay questions, and submit 3 references. An interview is strongly recommended. The firm's additional labels are Bold Admissions ($299.95) and Don Martin Members Only ($79.95). As a special promotion, buyers will receive a champagne glass and an instructional video on how to properly chill champagne. They will also receive a DVD of Don's cameo appearances in several Golden Gargoyle winning films. "This is going to be a hit," said one North American retailer. "We expect these to fly off the shelves. This guy has lots of celebrity potential."
GSB students and Hyde Park residents had mixed reactions. "I'm sad to see him go, but I'm happy he's found something more enjoyable. And at least he's not going to another business school," commented Peter Vetrop. "He could use the next TNDC to launch his product," added TNDC co-chair Saul Gollache. "It seems a bit pricey, but sure, we'll carry it," said the manager of Ida Noyes Pub.
Nevertheless, the ChiBus staff wishes the Don the best and thanks him for his dedication to the GSB.