Simple Philosophies
Traveling Abroad
Rob Ross
Issue date: 4/2/01 Section: GSB News
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Realizing I travel quite a lot for work, Sir Johnathon asked me to compile my top ten pearls of advice on international sojourns. I don't claim to be the expert, yet I wouldn't take on such an important task if I didn't think I could make a contribution, if I didn't think I could make an indelible impression. So with this preface said, allow me to share some honest and colorful pragmatism you won't find in all those travel books.
1. DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK:
Before I flesh out this philosophy, allow me to share a law of nature, entropy. Basically entropy says that things fall apart. A more formal definition exists and I knew it at one time, but like a lot of undergrad stuff, it may be lost forever. Anyway, for the sake of our lesson simply understand that entropy is a fact of international travel - things will inevitably turn to excrement.
So when it happens, don't fret as there is nothing you could have done to avert it and there is nothing you can do to change its course. Simply follow my mantra: DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK.
For instance, suppose after some twenty hours of flying the only thing that even remotely appeals to you is the lustful use of your toothbrush in removing the hair your teeth and tongue have sprouted. You stand at the baggage carousel and wait and wait and wait and wait as everyone else's bags traverse a slow, serpentine loop. Your haggard mind drifts and you suddenly find a terrifying parallel between the bags and your own tedious course.
To yourself: Oh, please get here already; I only want to brush my teeth! Is this asking too much? Alas, your bags never come. Pissed? Of course. Justified in feeling so? Absolutely! But what good are such feelings? You have no control over this situation and working yourself into lather is of no value. Please follow my advice: DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK.
2. DON'T WORRY, GET LIQUORED:
A variation on the same theme, for sure. Like its sister philosophy, allow me to offer a supportive example:
1. DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK:
Before I flesh out this philosophy, allow me to share a law of nature, entropy. Basically entropy says that things fall apart. A more formal definition exists and I knew it at one time, but like a lot of undergrad stuff, it may be lost forever. Anyway, for the sake of our lesson simply understand that entropy is a fact of international travel - things will inevitably turn to excrement.
So when it happens, don't fret as there is nothing you could have done to avert it and there is nothing you can do to change its course. Simply follow my mantra: DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK.
For instance, suppose after some twenty hours of flying the only thing that even remotely appeals to you is the lustful use of your toothbrush in removing the hair your teeth and tongue have sprouted. You stand at the baggage carousel and wait and wait and wait and wait as everyone else's bags traverse a slow, serpentine loop. Your haggard mind drifts and you suddenly find a terrifying parallel between the bags and your own tedious course.
To yourself: Oh, please get here already; I only want to brush my teeth! Is this asking too much? Alas, your bags never come. Pissed? Of course. Justified in feeling so? Absolutely! But what good are such feelings? You have no control over this situation and working yourself into lather is of no value. Please follow my advice: DON'T WORRY, HAVE A DRINK.
2. DON'T WORRY, GET LIQUORED:
A variation on the same theme, for sure. Like its sister philosophy, allow me to offer a supportive example: